How to Feel Like Helping Your Spouse When You Were Made to Be Lazy

 

Every morning, I try to get too much done before I leave for work.  I have 6 kids.  And though I am really only responsible for a couple of them (4 take care of themselves in the morning), there is still plenty to do before I am out the door.  I have to dress, fix breakfast, brush teeth, wake up kids, make sure kids are fed, make sure they are not forgetting their book bags, underwear, or shoes.

Usually what happens is that I think everything is good to go.  So I take a 5 minute rest.  It is somewhere around 4 ½ minutes into that 5 minute rest that I realize I have another 10 minute task that must be completed before I leave.  Perhaps someone has swallowed a quarter, or forgot to do their year long science experiment, or sent their little brother into traffic. 

So, I begin a mad rush hoping to somehow pull off the miracle of bending the space time continuum by completing 10 minutes worth of work in 30 seconds. 

I am ashamed here to admit this, but somewhere in my life long quest for doing as little as possible, I have fallen in to the trap of thinking it is ok to leave little messes around.  Yes, I am smart enough to not leave vomit splattered all over the bed from a sick child, or to change a diaper diarrhea blow out.  But, when it comes to the little things like putting my fork into the dishwasher, I may temporarily go to a happy place in my mind (like a 3D Imax showing of any Star Wars film) and completely skip putting the fork away.

So, how do you get in the mindset of helping your spouse:  Time how long it takes you to do random things.  It takes me 4 minutes to put away every dish in the dishwasher.  It takes me 2 minutes to put sheets on our king size bed.  Timing mundane chores really seems to help my mind when I am asked to do a menial task.  Somehow knowing it will take less than five minutes to do it unlocks the selfish pattern of thinking that I might just be the king of the universe.       

How to Totally Change Your Relationship With Someone by Doing Something You Hate

 

                First off, I think running a 5k race can change your life.  I know it has mine.  I say the 5k in particular because it is considered the beginners race.  It is only 3 miles, but it is more than a fun run which is about 1 mile usually.  Once you hit the 5k level in your running, something magical has happened.  You have taken a major step toward changing your physical life. 

                When I began running, I did not do it because I loved running I assure you.  In fact, my favorite thing to say was that I only ran when something was chasing me.   I hated running with a passion.  Enter my 12 year old that wanted to be a long distance runner (mind you, he had never run before).  This year at New Years, he set the goal for himself that he wanted to start working on his long distance running. 

                At first, I began talking to him about things he could do to train.  He could run around the house, run in place ect.  However, it became evident that this probably was not going to accomplish much, as no one likes to run in place or in circles.  So, one day, I looked up online what it would take for him to get started in this whole running thing.  I found out that most high school cross country teams compete on the 5k level.  Next, I found a program called “couch to 5k,” which was for complete beginners. 

                Next, I bit the bullet.  I came home and announced that I would begin running with him.  He was both shocked and excited at what our future held.  Our first couples of runs (while following the couch to 5k plan) were just 2 and 3 minute runs.  These were easy and not too bad.  However, by the time we got to the 5 and 6 minute runs, I knew I was in trouble.  I usually felt like I was ready to die by the end of them!  However, I noticed something fascinating.  At the end of each run, my son and I would sit on the front porch cooling down, and we would talk about his day.  What used to be one-word answers from him became 5 or 10 minute discussions about his life.  I was hooked on running with my son.   

                11 weeks later, my sons and I ran our first 5k together.  I feel like I can now say, my life has totally changed from running.  The good news is after learning a few things along the way, the runs became easier and much more enjoyable.  I can’t say I love every minute of the run, or that I will ever be a real competitor in the sport.  However, I can definitely say my son and I grew closer together as a result of me doing something I hated … for him. 

                 HOW TO BE SELFLESS WHILE DOING SOMETHING YOU HATE:

                In short, do the thing you hate for someone else.  And, make sure you do it with enthusiasm and a smile on your face, or it doesn’t really count.  It is not very fun to have someone serve you when you know how completely miserable they are doing it.  If nothing else, do something you hate to strengthen your relationship with that person, and to strengthen your character!  Doing things that are hard for us, for the good of someone else will only result in strengthening our own moral resolve to do what is right, kind, and good.